


kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight

by mythoughtsaretroubled



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, M/M, exes with unresolved feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythoughtsaretroubled/pseuds/mythoughtsaretroubled
Summary: A reimagining of Duke and Nathan's relationship in Fear and Loathing if Duke had offered to hook up with Nathan and not some random girls.
Relationships: Duke Crocker/Nathan Wuornos
Comments: 12
Kudos: 54





	kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh I don't know really what to say about this. I was having feelings during my rewatch so this happened. I firmly believe Nathan and Duke are exes, so that was the motivation for this.

“What are you smiling about?” Duke was furious and terrified, and Nathan was rubbing his face, big smile across his face. His smiles were never this big, not anymore. God, his smile lit Duke up inside, even if he wanted to hit something right now.

“Curses can be lifted.”

‘What the hell does that mean?”

“I can feel. Started this morning.”

This was possibly the best news Nathan could have gotten and Duke loved that for him. “So, you’re saying if I punched you right now. . .”

“It would be the last thing you’d ever do but yeah, I can feel it.” He was so smug. It was a good look for him, Duke decided.

Duke waved him off. “You’ve been saying that since the fifth grade.” Duke was itching to touch him, just see him respond to his hands. “Wow. So, what’s it like, being back to normal?”

“Haven’t really had time to process.”

And before Duke’s brain could catch his mouth, he heard himself say, “Want me to help you process?”

If only he could kick himself. He didn’t want Nathan thinking he only wanted him because he could feel. But the opportunity was right there, and he and Nathan had been getting along for over a week, almost a record for them.

And Nathan wasn’t saying no. His eyebrows were raised, and he was studying Duke. His gaze always felt tangible, heavy on Duke’s body and he had to curl up his fists so he didn’t reach for his face. Lean forward and kiss him. The pause was growing longer, and Duke felt dread and anticipation building in his stomach.

“I could swing by your boat at lunch,” he finally said, and Duke had to resist not kissing him right then and there.

“Noon?” Duke’s heart was pounding in his ears.

Nathan didn’t lose eye contact. “See you then.”

His first love, his high school sweetheart, coming back to him, maybe not permanently, but for a day.

Duke was pacing his boat. He finally got rid of the other Audrey Parker and was just waiting for Nathan. What if he changed his mind? What if he decided he didn’t want anything? What if-?

And there he was, walking onto his boat. He was moving slower than usual, placing his hands carefully on the metal rails, savoring the moments of touch.

Duke was rarely at a loss for words but seeing Nathan there on his boat, expecting sex had his mind empty and his mouth dry. He always ached for Nathan but knowing he wanted this too made the ache hard to ignore.

He stood across from Duke, leaning forward slightly. Duke realized they had just been standing there, taking in the other one.

“You still sure on this?” He felt wired, ready to explode. He needed Nathan to be in this with him.

Nathan moved to Duke and pulled him so their bodies were flush. “I’m sure.”

Nathan backed Duke up to his bed, trapping him in a messy kiss. Nate pushed Duke’s shirt off, leaving him in his tank top.

“These are new,” Nathan murmured, first kissing the tattoos on his right arm, and then moving to his left. They weren’t even undressed, and Duke was a mess.

“You’ve seen them before.”

“Not like this.”

Duke shivered. “I was planning on touching you, not the other way around.”

He felt Nathan smile. “I missed kissing you.” He started using his tongue to trace each tattoo.

Duke remembered his first time, their first time. Nathan had still been careful but this time his movements were so sure, so precise and Duke reveled in it.

“Here,” Duke pulled off his other shirt and grabbed Nathan’s to pull it off as well. Nathan groaned.

“Need a minute, Nate?”

He nodded. Duke held him and waited for him to move again.

“It wasn’t just sex I missed.”

“I know.”

“I liked when you hold me.” Nate’s face was buried in Duke’s neck.

“You’re holding me too.”

Nathan hummed softly. “Okay.” He lifted his head, pulling himself out of Duke’s arms.

“Okay, but I’m going to take care of you now.” His hands unfastened Nathan’s jeans and pulled them down. “Hold on.”

Duke moved slowly, touching every inch of Nathan’s body. He remembered what places made Nathan groan, when he squirmed. He tried to kiss away Nathan’s pain, wanting to be the center of his attention. Duke worshipped Nathan’s body until he moaned Duke’s name and he was spread out above him, blissed out and beautiful. “Okay, I did miss that a lot.” He was panting.

Duke laughed. “Yeah?”

He groaned. “Don’t want to move.”

“Then stay here. We can nap and then explore some more.” Duke knew he would say no, knew it was a bad idea.

“I’m gonna go help Audrey. This case is weird.” Nathan started pulling on his clothes and Duke just leaned back to watch.

“It’s Haven, all the cases are weird.”

Nathan just grunted.

And then there was silence, which Duke knew Nathan liked, but he hated. Half the reason he ran his mouth was to avoid awkward spaces of nothing. He was always more impulsive when it was quiet. So he asked his burning question.

“Nate. Why’d you say yes?” Duke’s voice was quiet, even to his own ears.

And there was the silence again. Duke tried to focus on the sound of the waves around him but it wasn’t loud enough to cover Nathan’s silence.

“Cause I’d regret saying no.” He had finished getting dressed and placed his hands on either side of his hips and then leaned down and kissed Duke.

He was a little shell shocked and didn’t move until he heard Nathan on the deck. 

After Ian Haskell died, after Nathan decided to keep his Trouble, Duke came to see Nathan at the station, something he always hated.

And before he left, he told him this: “It didn’t have to be a one time thing.”

“But I’m broken.” Nathan’s voice was soft and low. 

“We’re all a little broken, Nate.” He saw Nathan duck his head to smile.

“Okay then.”

“Okay, he repeated.” And he turned and walked out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!!


End file.
